Not sure what to do when your teenage daughter is moody and avoids you? Worried about the toxic culture we’re raising our kids in these days?
We’re all worried and a bit scared.
There’s one rule you should follow: STAY CALM.
Even when it seems like she hates you and doesn’t want to be around you, she still needs you. The bond between the two of you is so strong that no amount of stress and hormonal overload can break that connection.
We’ve gathered five ideas to help you bond with your teenage daughter. These ideas will help you create positive memories that both of you can look back on when the difficult years are over. These ideas can also help both of you deal with the growing pains.
Idea #1: Pick a day for both of you to play hooky.
For you, this is a reminder that life is more than just work. While you need to work to pay the bills, your family is more important. By taking a day off just for your daughter, you not only show her that she matters to you, but you also teach her that work isn’t everything.
We put a lot of pressure on our kids to go to school and do well. They go through a lot of stress while dealing with the difficult personalities they spend all day with.
The day away will help both of you get away and relax. Let her choose what to do on this day, and treat her out to a nice lunch. Keep the conversation lighthearted and only get serious if she leads you into a more intense discussion.
Idea #2: Let her vent.
Strive just to listen and not talk when she needs to let out frustration about the people she’s around or life in general. Even when she asks you for your input, keep it short and let her carry the conversation until she has all her frustrations out.
- Don’t interrupt her when she’s venting.
- Don’t ask a lot of questions. She wants just to be accepted as she is.
- Don’t talk when you should just listen.
It’s challenging to navigate life at this age. Make sure you show up and be present when she needs you to listen to her struggles. This is her time, not Facebook’s or someone else’s moment, just hers and hers alone.
Idea #3: Give her space when she needs it.
Your teen may be stressed out from always being around people, always being told to do this and that, or behave a certain way. It can be physically and emotionally exhausting.
She needs space.
Set some rules and make sure she has her own responsibilities to do around the house, but also afford her the luxury of time alone. Her room will often be her sanctuary, and there will be days when she needs a few hours alone reading a good book, listening to her favorite music, or doing her hobby.
Idea #4: Go out on a double parent date.
Schedule a day out with her best friend and her friend’s mom. Go to the zoo, out for a shopping trip and lunch, or go out on a hiking trip together.
One of the best ways you can show your daughter that you respect her is to include her best friend every so often. When you constantly exclude her friends, she feels controlled and manipulated.
You may say you’re her best friend, and in a sense, you are. But you’re not her only friend. By showing her that you understand this and respect her need to have relationships with others, you show her that you support and understand what she’s going through.
Her best friend’s mother is likely going through the same struggles of connecting with her daughter that you are. This foursome day out will help ease tension for all of you.
Idea #5: Buy her a small surprise and leave it on her bed.
Sometimes it’s the smallest surprises that make the most frustrating days better. Giving her a little token of your love quietly will keep you close to her heart. It will help her find the strength to deal with her growing pains.
Random surprises are great, but well-timed ones will help her deal with troubles too. Perhaps you know she’s just broken up with a boyfriend and is feeling vulnerable. Maybe she didn’t do as well as she expected at last night’s sporting event.
Your small token of love will let her know that you’re there for her, that you believe in her, and that you support her. Even if no words are spoken between the two of you, the impact of a small surprise gift is powerful.
These gifts can be anything from a long stem rose, a new book, her favorite candy, a new coffee mug, compact mirror, new makeup, anything you know she likes.
By listening to your daughter, giving her a daily hug, and telling her that you love her, your relationship will grow stronger every day.
Listen with an open mind. Let her be who she is, and don’t expect her to be just like you.
Recognize she’s on her way to becoming an adult and let her know she’s an equal. Even when she has to follow your rules, make it known that her views and ideas matter.
Be supportive in all things, her successes and failures. Let her know that you’re proud of her and support her in everything she does.
Show your love and devotion for your daughter with a premium necklace from To My Daughter. When she pushes you away and talking to her seems impossible, let your necklace lay close to her heart and be there when you can’t.